How to avoid the Top 5 Death-bed Regrets

A palliative care nurse recently wrote an article encompassing her experiences of numerous conversations with those on their death-bed and their regrets. It occurred to us that many of those regrets can be relieved or lessened by a lifestyle that we advocate here at Midas.


Let’s take a look at each:


1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.


We are told so many times by negative dream stealers that we cant be or have something and we get it from all angles – our family can often be the worst offenders and its sometimes the things they don’t say that causes us to be dis-enfranchised with following through on our dreams.
Being true to yourself takes a little courage and some resolve. Its often preceded by a moment of disgust as well - "Enough is enough" or "that's it I've had enough".  Large scale quantum leap changes are often really difficult to make in ones life so its often the "Slight Edge" changes that made over time and in a consistent manner bear most fruit. They say a habit is formed when you repeat something 30 times. So start by making small changes and see what effects they have. Once the new habits are formed move on to the next change.


2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.


In the industrial world we have become so entrapped in our work to pay for a certain lifestyle that we lose sight of the work-life balance. In fact it becomes “live to work” if we are not careful. There are so many things we would like to do with our spare time if we had any – but with all those “must have” items we are marketed day in day out – try saying no to a teenager who wants an iPhone or a laptop! The pressure can be relentless and to top it all we have rising living costs without the pay rises – so we get trapped in the “too much month at the end of the money” rat race. Sound familiar?


There is a popular saying that “wealth is measured in time" i.e. how many days, months or years can you live comfortably without having to work. Sound strange? Well , imagine having an investment or asset or business that paid you whilst you slept and paid you more than your monthly outgoings? This is one of the secrets of the rich. Don’t let me explain it to you – have a look at this video from one of the world’s highest profile wealth educators.





When I read Robert Kiyosaki’s book “Rich Dad Poor Dad”, my life took a different turn because I started to look for opportunities to exploit the “Business” and the “Investor” sectors of the quadrant he talks of : to create a passive income source so I could escape the rat race.


Spending time with your loved ones, following your passion, being involved in a charity or social enterprise, seeing the world and visiting your favourite places more often are the things most of us just dream about. We are almost brainwashed to pay off our mortgages and stay in work til we are 65 – but this isn’t the case – we can get out of the rat race in 10 years or less!


Some say – its too late for me – well I would say back to them “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time to plant a tree is today!”


3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.


Being honest about who you are and how you feel brings integrity to your relationships and more importantly allows you to cut loose from negative influences and bring accountability to your life. Ultimately – living with a mask on is a bit like living someone else’s life. Bill Connolly says he “Lives life with his pants down” which is a fantastic way of saying – don’t worry about what others think about you and just get on with having fun without the fear and live it to the full. We love this and when talking to people encourage them to have a little courage and stand by their vision and dreams and not let anyone’s views or opinions prevent them from following their heart.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.


Your circle of “friends” can and should be constantly evolving. If you have regret that some of your older friends have fallen by the wayside – this is sometimes the best outcome for you. Your closest friends could be people who encourage you , build you up and challenge you to be the best you, you can be. Why would you want to keep old friends who don’t share your outlook?


On Facebook and other social sites you could easily have a clean out and start afresh with those that build you up and keep you positive. After all we are told no 30,000 times by the time we are 18 – we don’t need more nay-sayers in our online community do we?
Sometimes you can live in the same town as your friends but never see them… and sometimes you can be half way around the world and see them via the internet every day. Location is not as important as it used to be.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.


Fear of change and pretending to others how we feel is such a drag on your confidence and countenance. Watch any ex-pat community living away from the sometimes myopic hometown community where all the old hang ups live and all the old negative memories lie and you will see a bunch of people enjoying life, laughing and relaxing in a way a lot of us wouldn’t see fit. But this doesn’t have to be the case – why not try and frequent different places that have new and positive attachments to them and foster and nurture a happy sense. Life accumulates - so start accumulating positive happy experiences.


CONCLUSION
I once was told by an emergency room nurse that you can tell how someone lived by how they die. She told me that those who did not live out their dreams would cry in agony at their lost chance. Those who lived out their dreams passed on in deep peace.


Ask yourself – if I were looking at my own epitaph, what would it say about me?
If you could see all of your life’s achievements written down – what would you like it to say? Let’s imagine you could see this summary right now and then consider what would you need to do , how would you need to change to achieve these things? This is the beginning of goal setting and working backwards from this end view of your life can give you tremendous perspective in knowing what you want out of life.


No matter what your station in life, try to avoid these regrets. Unless the Buddhists are correct, we only live once. Don’t waste your chance.

Here are a few of our clients who are on their way to living a life of choice and by design.
http://www.midasestates.com/property-investments/client-testimonials

Author: Robin Campbell - Director at Midas Estates